Pieces of Me
by Just-Met-A-Girl-Named-Maria
Summary: An orphaned Katie is forced to go live with her sister. Full summary inside. Please read and write reviews! rated T just in case
1. Chapter 1

Pieces of Me

_Thirteen year old Katie's perfect life is abruptly shattered by the sudden death of her parents. Orphaned and all alone, she is sent off to Denver to live with her sister, Colleen. (yes Colleen lives in Denver now) She feels alone and depressed in the cold dark world without her parents. What will happen to her? How will the family cope with the death of Michaela and Sully? Please review!_

* * *

Katie stepped through the doorway holding a suitcase in each hand and a stuffed toy under her arm. Right beside her was standing a coat rack, where she hung her soaking coat and hat. The snow was falling gently behind her, and normally she would have loved to run out and play in that snow, but this was no normal day.

The front room was a kitchen, and to her left was a small room with two comfy red armchairs and a white piano against the other wall. In the middle of the floor was a rocking horse and a toy duck with wheels attached to a string. On the floor was her little one year old nephew Johnny. Trying to climb onto the rocking horse was his twin sister Charlotte.

Soon her sister Colleen came rushing down the wooden spiral staircase. She began to fuss over Katie, taking her luggage and pushing her further into the house. She led her into the parlor where Katie sat down in one of the red chairs. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Andrew enter the house carrying the large wooden trunk that her father had made. Her papa...

She pushed those thoughts away, far into the back of her head. She reached over and picked up her niece, and bounced her on her lap. After a while, Colleen came back into the parlor.

"Your room is ready Katie," she closed her hand on hers, and Katie stood up and was led to her room. Around the corner was the wooden spiral staircase that led up to a hallway. They walked around another corner and past a dresser for a baby. "We had to move some furniture around," Colleen explained. They went up a ladder and another small hallway held two cribs. Colleen opened a door to their left and Katie entered the room and gazed around. It was a narrow but long room. On the very far wall was a bed, with the end facing her. Next to the bed was a nightstand. At the end of the bed was the trunk. In the corner closest to her was a rocking chair.

"Do you like it?" Colleen looked back at her little sister, worry clouding her eyes.

"Yes," Katie said suddenly. "It's very nice," she walked to the bed and sat on the edge. She smoothed the already smooth blankets over and over.

"Katie?" Colleen sat down next to her. "Are you alright?" she placed her hand on her back.

She snapped out of her smoothing trance. "Yes, I'm fine..." her eyes fell on the trunk. "I'm...fine..."

Colleen fully put her arm around her sister's shoulder. "It's alright Katie...I'm here..." she rubbed her shoulder.

"Don't-don't do that..." Katie edged away. That hand felt to much like...

"I'm sorry," Colleen was startled by the sudden resistance. "If you need anything, please let me know," she got up and shut the door quickly, not wanting Katie to see her cry.

Katie stayed sitting on the bed, staring at that trunk. She had sat there and watched him carve it for her. Everything he did was out of love for his girls. He loved them so dearly...

Katie sniffled and wiped her eyes roughly. "That's enough Katie," she scolded herself. "Mama would hate to see you cry..." Mama. She longed for her to hold her, at least one more time. She took the stuffed toy in her hands, which Colleen had laid on her pillow. She caressed it gently and lovingly, knowing that her mother had made it for her. She slumped onto the pillow and let the tears fall. Why did they have to leave me all alone? With only pieces left of me?

* * *

Sully snatched her up and tickled her. Her laughter rang through the house and lifted the spirits of everyone.

"Papa!" she tried desperately to get free of his grasp. "Papa! Please!" Even though she was almost thirteen, she was still wildly ticklish. Michaela was sitting back and laughing at the scene before her.

"Sully, I think we've tortured her enough today!" she laughed.

Sully released her and she sprinted to her mother's chair in case he got any more ideas. She was still laughing, and she was holding her sides, for they had started cramping.

"What...was...that...for?" she said between laughs and deep breaths.

"I don't know," Sully shrugged. "Just some birthday tickling,"

"Papa!" she laughed. "My birthday isn't till tomorrow!"

"I know," he smiled at her and ruffled her hair.

Michaela glanced over at the clock. "I should get supper ready,"

"Oh Ma!" Katie was almost jumping with excitement. "Can I go meet Colleen and everybody on the train with Papa?" her eyes lit up with the excitement of seeing her sister.

Michaela couldn't say no to her. "Alright, just you make sure your father doesn't get into any trouble," she glanced at Sully playfully.

"I will," she giggled nudging her father. "Come on pa! I don't want to miss the train!" she ran upstairs to get her coat.

"She's growing up so fast..." Michaela's smile faded. "She'll be thirteen tomorrow..."

"I know," Sully wrapped his arms around her. "But she's still our little girl,"

Michaela smiled, knowing that they're daughter would never truly grow up. "She'll always be a child at heart,"

"Yep," Sully laughed and kissed his wife's head.

Katie came bounding down the stairs in her coat. "Come on Pa!"

"Alright," he put on his buckskin coat. "Shall we?" he put out his arm.

"We shall," Katie giggled. With their arms linked, father and daughter walked out to the barn to get the wagon to ride into town.

"Colleen!" Katie ran to her and embraced her.

Colleen laughed. "Careful Katie!"

"Sorry," she smiled. Colleen was holding little Charlotte.

Andrew came off the train carrying Johnny, with five year old Anthony and six year old Tommy right behind him.

"Hello Andrew! Hello Anthony, Tommy,"

"Hello Katie," Andrew smiles brightly.

"Hey Katie!" the two boys said in unison.

Colleen handed Charlotte to Katie, and she kissed her cheek. "Hello baby girl,"

Sully was helping with luggage, which was light, since they were only staying a few days. When they were all squished in the wagon, Katie turned to Colleen.

"I'm so glad you came!"

"Of course we came!" she laughed. "How could I miss my little sister's thirteenth birthday?"

When they got home Michaela rushed to the door.

"Colleen! I'm so glad you came!"

"Hello Ma," Colleen embraced her mother.

Michaela greeted her son in law and each of her grandchildren. Supper was joyfully noisy. It was full of laughter and happiness, things that Katie's life was full of. She couldn't have been happier.

By the end of the night Michaela had convinced them to stay at the homestead.

"But there's no room here!" Colleen had insisted.

"Well we'll make room! The boys can use Brian's old room, you and Andrew can use Katie's room, and I'll get a crib for the little ones," she smiled picking up little Charlotte. "And the birthday girl can sleep with her parents tonight,"

Katie was barely able to contain her excitement. "Really? You mean I'm not too old now?"

"Of course not," Michaela handed Charlotte to Colleen and went upstairs to prepare the bedrooms.

The next morning, Sully awoke to see his wife gently brushing Katie's hair.

"Happy birthday, Katie," he kissed her cheek.

"Thanks Pa," Katie's smile was brighter than the sun. Sully's heart swelled with love for his little girl.

Michaela pinned up her hair carefully, and she patted her shoulder. "All done,"

"Thanks, Ma!" she stood up and spun around in the dress that her mother had made for her birthday.

"You look wonderful," Michaela stood up.

"Thanks," Katie blushed. She hated all this attention. But yet, she loved it.

Michaela kissed her daughter's head. "Happy birthday sweetheart,"

The day flew by in a mess of joy and laughter. Katie had the time of her life with her parents and her sister and her brother in law and her nephews and nieces. Her life was perfect and she knew it. She had the best parents in the world. That night, she was squished between them again. "I love you guys," she whispered.

"We love you too," Michaela whispered back. She stroked her soft hair. "Happy birthday,"

"Happy birthday," Sully echoed.

* * *

A soft knock awoke Katie suddenly. "Katie?" Colleen entered the room slowly. "Supper is ready,"

Katie sat up slowly taking in her surroundings. She was no longer between her parents. She was...

"Oh, right," she got up and followed Colleen downstairs into the kitchen. She was in her sister's home. Her parents...her wonderfully perfect parents...were dead.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hello! Hope you like this chapter. And in case anyone was wondering i did not try to copy this from the abduction episode...it's kind of just what popped into my head. Enjoy! Please review! **Please!** _

* * *

Chapter two

Katie sat silently at the table. She pushed around her food, not wanting to eat. Her stomach was too full of sick grief and guilt.

"Katie?" Colleen noticed her quiet tone. "Aren't you hungry? You have to eat,"

"I'm not hungry," Katie said calmly, still staring at her plate. "May I be excused?" she slowly looked back up at Colleen.

"Of course,"

Katie got up quickly and ran away from the table. Colleen looked at Andrew, with deep worry in her eyes. Andrew looked back, not knowing what to say.

Katie tore up the stairs, then around the corner and up the ladder. She stubbed her foot on the crib that was right outside her door. Frustrated, she kicked the crib, only inflicting more pain on herself. She slammed the door and threw herself on the bed. She took that little rabbit and squeezed the life out of it.

"You shouldn't have left me!" she shouted into the empty space surrounding her. "Why did you leave me all alone? Why did you do that to me?" now the tears came. They flowed put of her eyes and burned in trails down her face. She threw that rabbit across the room. She didn't want to look at it. She had left her all alone in the big empty world. She kicked the wooden trunk until it fell over. He had abandoned her. She dropped to the floor again and hugged her knees and rocked back and forth.

"You shouldn't have left..." she repeated. "You shouldn't have left..." Then the guilt began to sting again. She carefully picked up the trunk and replaced the contents. She ran over to the rabbit and held it close to her. "I'm sorry Mama..." her tears mingled with the abused little toy. "I'm sorry Mama...I'm sorry Poppy...I'm so, so sorry..." she sobbed heavily into her pillow.

Her heart was hollow. The death of her parents had scooped out any life left in it. Everyday it cracked more and more. Soon she would lose her mind. Her body trembled tremendously. She could hardly breathe...the darkness of sorrow and loneliness surrounded her and threatened to choke the life out of her. Ropes of grief and longing squeezed her empty heart. Thoughts and memories swam in her head...memories she didn't want. She wanted to empty her mind completely and forget everything.

* * *

"Katie!" Michaela called. "Please hurry!"

"Yes, Mama!" Katie rushed downstairs. They were going on a picnic in a beautiful spot Sully found. "Here I am!"

"All ready?"

"Yep," Katie was wearing a light blue satin dress, the same worn on her birthday. As usual, she was stunning.

They each rode a horse into the woods and set up their picnic. They enjoyed the peaceful tranquility of the woods. The meal, which Katie had helped with, was good too. After they finished eating, Katie had insisted that Sully teach her to throw his tomahawk, and against Michaela's objections, he agreed.

"Ma, look!" Katie exclaimed. "I think I got it!"

"Be careful!" Michaela called. "Don't rip your dress!"

"I won't, Ma!" Katie laughed. "Now watch!" She threw it with near perfection.

"Good!" Sully smiled, picking up the tomahawk. "Almost perfect,"

"Almost?" Katie seemed disappointed in herself. "Well I'm gonna keep trying until it is perfect!"

Michaela laughed. Her daughter sounded just like her.

"What was that?" Sully's smile faded.

"What?"

"Listen!"

Suddenly there was rustling, and a small roar.

"A bear!" Katie looked at her father with fear in her eyes. Michaela stood up and protectively put her hand on Katie's shoulder.

"We have to hurry,"

Sully nodded solemnly. They mounted their horses, leaving everything else behind. They broke into a run, following Sully.

"PA!" Katie suddenly screamed. The bear was following them at a fast pace.

"Sully! It's following us!"

Sully took a quick glance back. "Don't look back!"

Her heart strangled by worry, Katie kept her head forward and tried to keep up with her parents. Suddenly, they both stopped short in front of a cliff. Michaela and Sully exchanged a look of sheer terror. They got off their horses and instructed Katie to do so. She took a quick glance down. There was foaming, rushing water waiting at the bottom.

"You have to be brave, alright," Sully looked her in the eye.

"Yes, Papa," Katie tried to look as brave as possible.

"We love you, sweet girl," Michaela looked her in the eye.

Katie merely nodded. She should have said she loved them too...

The bear was too close now. Hand in hand, they ran, and threw themselves off the edge. Arms flailing and stomachs lurching they each plummeted into the abyss below them.

The world whizzed by Katie's face and the rushing, horrid water came closer and closer. She screamed again, fearing contact with the water. Her body slapped the surface and she sank down. She could feel the currents pulling at her, yanking her into the unknown. She struggled to keep her head above water.

"MAMA!" she shrieked. "PAPA! Where are you?" she tried raising her voice above the rushing water.

She struggled to the strip of land that was near her. Shakily she stood up and searched frantically for any sign of her parents. "MA! PA!"

Nothing. She began to panic. "Mama! Mama please! Mama!"

Suddenly she saw a flash of auburn hair. "Ma?" Katie called desperately. It disappeared again. "No! Mama!" Tears began to cloud her vision. "MAMA!" without thinking she leapt into the water and searches frantically for her mother. She was going to save her.

The water crashed against her and engulfed her body. She thrashed against the current, but it was no use. _No! I need to save my mama! I need to save...my..._

Her world went black and the last thing she felt was an arm around her pulling her away. "I love you, Katie,"

"Papa?"

* * *

Her eyes shot open and she gasped for air. She coughed uncontrollably and searched franticly around her. Across the water were two lifeless forms.

"Papa? Mama?"

She panted heavily and swallowed back tears. "Papa?" the tears rolled down her face. "M...mama...?" she croaked. She dropped down and hugged her knees. "No...no...no..." she rocked back and forth. "Mama...Papa...no...no..."

"NO!" she thrashed across the water and threw herself on her mother. "NO!" she shook her violently. "Get up Mama! Please! Please!" she sobbed pitifully. She shifted to her father. "Please, Papa! I need you! I need you both! Papa, please! HELP! Someone help me please! NO!"

* * *

"Katie!" her body shook. "Katie! Wake up!"

"NO!" her body jerked and her eyes opened slowly, and she took in her surroundings. "No…no…"

"Katie?" Colleen was sitting on the bed bending over her. Her hands were on her shoulders and she had a look of absolute terror on her face. "Are you alright?"

"Where did they go?" Katie's head jerked around, as if searching for something. "They were..."

"Oh Katie..." Colleen wrapped her arms around her little sister and Katie sobbed uncontrollably in her arms. Holding her close and stroking her hair, Colleen rocked her back and forth. "I'm so sorry Katie...I'm so sorry..."


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey hey! Sorry if this chapter is a bit morbid...i just felt it was necessary. Don't like, don't read. But if you do like it, **PLEASE REVIEW!** I cannot stress that enough. lol Enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 3

Katie sat in her rocking chair and rocked back and forth. She was reading a book, but not like the books she used to read. The books she used to read were about fantasy things that she loved and held so close to her heart. Everyone always said she would always be a child at heart; that she would never truly grow up. But now here she was. Her childhood and all its happy memories were ripped away and torn apart. The only thing she could remember was the sight of her mother and father's lifeless body.

She closed the book. It bored her. She continued to rock back and forth in the chair, staring blankly at the wooden floor. A single tear slipped out of her eye.

* * *

Colleen sat on her bed in despair. She didn't know how to comfort her grieving sister. Every time she looked at her, she was reminded of the traumatic experience of losing her mother, Charlotte. Colleen was scarred, always having to remember the face of her mother as all life drained from it. Yet, her life did not end as she expected it to. Her life went on pleasantly, because she had Michaela in her life now. And then when she got married, she had Sully as a father. Her life seemed complete again.

But Katie had no one else. She just had Colleen and Andrew, and her niece and nephews. She had no mother, no father. Her life would always be broken. Colleen buried her face in her hands. _What do I do? _

Not to mention that Colleen was lost without her mother. She was always giving her medical advice, and even parenting advice. She had always been there for Colleen, and it was terrifying knowing that she would never be there for her again. She remembered hearing the news…it would forever be burned into her memory…

* * *

Colleen was sitting on the porch watching her boys play, and cradling her little Charlotte. Suddenly, she could see Andrew riding towards the house with such speed, that it startled her.

"Colleen!" he cried, his voice quivering. "Colleen!"

"What is it?" she placed young Charlotte in the grass and rushed to him. "Is everything alright?"

He shook his head. "I…I'm sorry…" he handed her a piece of paper that he was holding and dismounted his horse. It was a telegram from Colorado Springs.

Colleen's eyes widened and her throat closed up. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She looked at Andrew, with her eyes bulging. "No…" she shook her head in disbelief. It couldn't be true.

"Colleen, I'm so sorry…"

"No!" she suddenly became aware of her children around her and dashed into the house.

"Colleen!" Andrew followed her into the house and found her collapsed on the floor in the parlor. "Colleen…" he joined her on the floor wrapped his arms around her.

She sobbed in her husband's arms. "They were so young Andrew…why did this happen? They had their whole lives…and Katie!" She began to wail again, thinking of her sweet, innocent little sister being all alone.

The words ran through her head over and over.

…_Michaela and Sully drowned. Their funeral will be in a few days. I'm sorry._

_Michaela and Sully drowned…_

_Drowned…_

* * *

"Colleen?" Andrew appeared. "I'm home, someone cancelled their appointment. Are you alright?"

"No…" she looked up at him with wet eyes. "Why? They were such...good people…I just can't believe it…and Katie…she's all alone Andrew…she has no one…"

"She has you,"

"I'm not good enough!" she snapped. "I could never make her happy! Not as happy as she would ever be with Ma and Sully!"

Andrew didn't know what to say. He simply put his arms around her and kissed her head. "It's going to be alright Colleen,"

She nodded slowly, but she knew he was wrong. How could it ever be alright?

"I should…start making supper," She pulled away from Andrew's embrace and exited the bedroom. As she walked down the stairs, her son Anthony came bounding up the stairs. He darted to the ladder and scrambled up. He knocked on the door, just like he was supposed to.

"Katie!" he listened for a response. Nothing. "Katie! I wanna play with you!" still, she wouldn't answer. "Ka-tie!" he yelled, dragging out the vowels. Then all of a sudden, there was screaming. He shoved the door open.

He gasped. Katie was writhing on her bed, screaming her head off. "Katie…?" Frightened, he dashed away from the room and found his mother in the kitchen. "Ma! Ma! Katie is scaring me!"

"What?" Colleen stopped what she was doing. Then she heard it. "Stay here!"

"Ma what's wrong? Is she sick?"

"Stay here!" Colleen repeated firmly and dashed up the stairs. She found Katie breathing heavily on the floor. "Are you alright?"

"I…I can't…"

"You can't what?"

"I can't do this anymore…"

"Do what?" Colleen moved a step closer.

"Anything…"

"What do you…?"

Katie pulled a knife out of the wooden trunk.

"Katie!"

"It was hers…she used it to cut food when we ate…"

"Katie! Stop it!" she brought the knife close to her head. "_Andrew!_"

"I'm sorry Colleen…the reminders are everywhere…I keep seeing them…lying there…not one sign of life in there bodies…I just want to leave…forever…"

"Katie-Katie NO!" Colleen shrieked.

Andrew burst into the doorway. He lunged at Katie and pushed her into the ground. "Colleen! Take the knife!"

"No! Get off of me! Don't touch me!" Katie was struggling to get free. Colleen grasped the knife and put it outside the door and shut it.

"Andrew! Let go of her please!" Colleen shrieked. Katie was screaming as though she were in extreme pain. "Katie…?"

Katie dropped onto the floor unconscious. Colleen looked back and forth from Andrew to Katie. Then she stared at Katie. "Andrew…she…she's gone mad…she's…"

Andrew lifted Katie and put her in her bed. "She just keeps reliving the traumatic events. She's in a very dark place Colleen; she wants to be free of this burden. And right now, the only way to do that in her eyes was to end her life. Just give her some time. Let her rest. In a couple of weeks, she'll stop wanting to hurt herself,"

"A couple of weeks? What if she already kills herself by then!" she shouted.

"Hush Colleen!" he ran to her. "All I'm saying is that this is all we can do. Just let her rest and-"

"How will resting help if she keeps having that dream?"

That seemed to quiet him for a while. "Well…I don't know what we can do about that. But for now we can only hope that she is sleeping soundly. Now we have to remove anything from the room that she could used to harm herself,"

They searched every corner of the room for anything that seemed harmful. They took every picture frame, all the candles, all the matches, all the lamps, and anything that could possibly be tied around her neck. Colleen felt like an intruder, taking all these things from Katie's room. But it was for her own good.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

She was awake, but she didn't open her eyes. She listened to what they were saying.

"What about the trunk?" it was Colleen's voice. "There're sharp edges on it,"

"Well," came Andrew's voice. "We can't take everything out,"

"But Andrew! What if –"

"You can't leave her without any furniture in the room! Do you want her to feel like a freak?" Andrew whispered. "She needs to have a sense of normalcy or she'll want to hurt herself even more,"

There was silence for some time. "You're right," Colleen said. "I'm sorry…I'm just…" then there was the sound of sobbing.

"It's alright Colleen,"

Katie didn't want to hear anymore. She opened her eyes and sat straight up.

"Katie!" Colleen, who was in Andrew's embrace, jumped away startled. She quickly wiped her eyes, and maybe if Katie had still been asleep during that conversation, she wouldn't have known she was crying.

"Hello, Katie," Andrew walked to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"A little dizzy,"

"Alright, well you should definitely get more rest,"

"Where's my picture frame?" she asked innocently.

Andrew turned to Colleen, who gave him a frightened look.

"Well," Andrew began. "We…well…"

"It's not safe Katie," Colleen cut in.

"What do you mean?"

"Katie," Colleen said seriously, sitting on the bed. "You tried to hurt yourself with a knife. Do you remember that?"

Flashes of the scene came back all at once.

"_It was hers…"_

"_I just want to leave...forever…"_

"_Katie- Katie NO!" _

She shook violently. "Yes," she said slowly.

"It's not safe to have anything in here that you could…hurt yourself with. Do you understand?"

She nodded and put her head back on her pillow.

"Now you try and get some rest. Will you be eating supper with us?"

"Ok,"

"Alright, then I'll call you when supper is ready," Colleen exited the room, followed by Andrew. He shut the door behind him, leaving Katie alone with her thoughts. _They think I'm dangerous… _She pressed her face closer into the pillow. _They think I'm a freak. _

She had just wanted some peace…peace that sleep could never give her…

She didn't want to go back to sleep. If she slept she would dream, and if she dreamed, then she would scream. And if she screamed…

She stood up and went back to the book on her rocking chair. She did read it, but she wasn't thinking about the book. Her mind was somewhere far off…somewhere she could only wish to be.

After supper, the boys insisted that she play the piano for them. She learned at a very young age from Brian. When she sat down images flashed in her head of the time she first played in front of her parents. How they had smiled…How proud they had been…

She pushed the images out of her head and readied herself to play. When she played the first note, her mother's laughter rang through her head, and she stopped abruptly. She quickly stood up. "I'm sorry…I just can't do it…" She ran back up to her room. She threw herself on her bed and she just lie there. She was too worn out for tears.

"Katie, are you alright?"

Colleen appeared in the doorway.

"Yes," she sat up. "I'm just tired…that's all,"

"Alright," Colleen backed out of the room. "Goodnight,"

"Night,"

Katie put on her nightgown and flopped back on the bed. She stared at the wall. Pretty soon, images from her dream began to appear and the room melted away. She could still hear the activities going on in the rest of the house, but sound was slowly slipping away as each image floated by. _No! _She jerked her eyes open and sat straight up. _I can't go to sleep. _

She sat awake in bed, waiting for the house to fall silent. She took her book and went downstairs. Her room was too dark to read now, and all her matches had been taken away. She sat in the chair in the parlor, and read until the book was done. She closed it and sat back, and her eyes fell on the piano. She suddenly felt ashamed that she hadn't been able to play before. Her mother wouldn't want anything to stop her from doing what she loved.

And besides, she heard her laughing…

She rose and walked to the piano. She sat down and prepared herself to play. When she pressed the keys, the music flowed out of her. Her mother's laughter rang through her mind, and she felt happy. She actually felt happy. She kept playing. She couldn't stop. Soon, she could hear her father too. She transitioned from song to song, all the while divulging herself into the world of her imagination. She could almost feel them there, right behind her, talking to her, cheering her on. She could feel their presence right there in the room.

And she was happy.

* * *

_That last part might have sounded like the end, but it's not!_ :) _Thanks to all who read! And double thanks to all who reivew!_ :)


	5. Chapter 5

_Here you go!_

* * *

Chapter five

Colleen heard the familiar noise of a piano. Was she dreaming? Was she imagining things? She fully opened her eyes and listened closer. No, it was definitely real. But who would be playing the piano in the middle of the night? She rose and walked to the door. It was so beautiful. It couldn't have been one of the boys, and Andrew was still in bed.

Katie.

Colleen walked to the middle step of the spiral staircase. She sat down and listened closer. It really was beautiful music. Then, her motherly sense kicked in, and she thought she ought to send her back to bed, especially since she needed rest, and Colleen was still afraid that Katie would hurt herself. But then she peered around the corner of the parlor, and she thought otherwise. Ever since they had died, she had never seen Katie look this happy. She decided to leave her alone, to let her do whatever she could to ease her pain, except suicide of course.

She returned to bed, letting the beautiful music drift her into dreamland.

Katie finally stopped playing, and she looked at the piano with satisfaction. She was proud of herself, especially because they were proud of her too. She kept looking straight ahead, knowing that if she turned around, she would see they weren't there, and she would fall apart. She let her imagination run wild, and she felt them embracing her. She stood up, walking backwards so she didn't have to turn around. She sat on the armchair, and she felt like she was sitting on her Papa's lap. She felt his strong features, and she felt safe. She knew he would protect her from any bad dreams. She fell asleep in her father's embrace, feeling safe for the first time in a while.

The scent of cooking drifted into her nose. Her wobbly legs swung over the edge of the bed, which her Papa made especially for her. She waddled across the room, which seemed so large since she was so small. She was a mere child of four, living out the first few years of life in sheer happiness. Holding her stuffed bunny she came bounding down the stairs, and she dashed across the wooden floor to where her mama was cooking, her arms open and ready for an embrace.

Hearing the pitter-patter of little, bare feet, Michaela turned around and welcomed the little girl's hug. "Good morning, sweet girl," she kissed her cheek.

"Hello Mama," Katie kissed her back. "Whatcha cookin'?"

"I'm cooking some eggs, do you want to help?"

"Yes! Yes!" Katie beamed at the thought of helping her mom. "I love helping Mama!"

"Good," Michaela laughed. "Now I need you to take this, and – "

"Wait!"

"What?"

Katie wriggled out of her grasp and took a chair from the table. She pushed it in front of the stove and climbed onto in. "There!"

Michaela laughed again. "Now you can reach!"

Katie nodded and started to mix the eggs around in the pan, carefully watched by Michaela.

"Alright, they're all done cooking, so now I need you to hold this bowl very tightly, while I put the eggs in it,"

"Ok Mama," Katie held the large bowl as if her life depended on it, not wanting to disappoint her mother.

When the eggs were all inside the bowl, Michaela beamed at her. "Good job, Katie!" She kissed the top of her head and picked her up, carefully placing her on the floor. She replaced the chair at the table, and set the eggs on the table. "Do you want to go get your Papa and Brian from outside? To tell them that breakfast is ready?"

"Uh-huh!" Michaela put shoes on her little feet and opened the door for her. She went carefully down the porch steps and then began to run to the barn, where Sully and Brian were caring for horses. "Papa! Brian! Breakfast is ready!" she pushed open the door of the barn. "Breakfast is ready!"

"Oh really?" Sully stopped what he was doing and scooped up the little girl. "What we eatin'?"

"Eggs!" Katie said ecstatically. "And guess what?"

"What?" Sully laughed at her excitement.

"I helped Mama make them!" she said proudly.

"Did you now?"

"Yep!"

"Alright, let's go eat!" he carried Katie back to the house, followed by Brian.

Breakfast was fun, as always. When everyone had eaten, Brian turned to Katie. "Great eggs Katie,"

She smiled proudly. "Did you like it Papa?"

"I sure did," he smiled at his energetic daughter.

"We still going fishing, Sully?" Brian asked while doing the dishes.

"Yep,"

"I wanna go!" Katie jumped up and down on Sully's leg.

"I don't know sweetie," Michaela lifted her in her arms. "I think Brian and Sully want to go alone, for some boy bonding time. Me and you can do some girl things at the clinic alright?" Katie looked at her mother with a pouty face and her arms crossed.

"It's alright, Ma," Brian walked over to Katie and took her in his arms. "She can come, I don't mind,"

"Sully?" Michaela turned to him.

"It's fine with me,"

"Looks like you're going fishing little girl," Michaela said, giving up.

"Yay!" Katie clapped her hands. "I'm going fishing with Papa and Brian!" she repeated over and over, dancing about the room. They all laughed at the funny scene before them, and the laughter went inside her head and rang through her whole body, filling her up with happiness. And then…

…she woke up.


	6. Chapter 6

_This is going to be a shorter story than i had orginally planned, so i'm almost done :)_

* * *

Chapter six

She woke up in the empty red chair, her father's presence no longer comforting her. Looking outside she knew it was morning, and listening to her surroundings she knew it was about breakfast time. Colleen was cooking, the boys were making noise, and a baby was crying. Something inside her told her that she should be helping with the children, but she ignored the nagging guilt and tried to go back to sleep, hoping for some more sweet dreams, but sleep couldn't find her again. Reluctantly she rose from the chair, instantly feeling the ache of sleeping in that position. Of course she did think that once she fell asleep her father would carry her up to bed…

When she appeared in the kitchen, Colleen seemed surprised to see her.

"Good morning Katie," she said sitting down at the table.

"Morning," Katie sat down beside her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good, I guess,"

Colleen froze. She said she felt good. She never thought she would hear Katie say that again. "That's good. Very good,"

Katie ate her meal, slowly starting to feel emptiness inside her again. But just last night she felt fine. She glanced over at the piano in the parlor. When she played, she felt them there. She engulfed the rest of her meal and rushed to the piano without excusing herself.

She sat down, and began to play. She played, and played, until she could feel her fingers burning. It was late afternoon when she finally stopped. The boys were playing outside and the twins were fast asleep. Andrew was at work, and Colleen was reading in her room. Upon hearing the music stop, she rushed to the stairs, and found Katie still sitting in front of the piano. She sighed, relieved. Normally Colleen would have left the children with the neighbors and gone to work with Andrew after breakfast, but Katie needed her at home.

Katie rose from the piano and backed up in to the chair, sitting on his lap again. "I wish you could be here all the time, Papa," she whispered. "I need you," She fell asleep again, tired from the lack of sleep from last night.

* * *

Her heart leapt with joy. She sprung out of bed, and dashed into her parents' room. "Wake up, Ma! Wake up, Pa! It's Christmas! Santa came last night!"

A seven year old Katie ran downstairs, followed by a groggy Michaela and Sully. Following them was Andrew and Colleen, who was holding baby Anthony. Their tree was the most beautiful thing, with presents scattered underneath. She lunged at one and opened it. The morning continued with joy and laughter as each member of the family opened their gift.

"Merry Christmas Katie," Michaela smiled.

"Thanks Ma! Thanks Pa!" she threw her arms around each of them.

They got all dressed up for church and rode into town. Katie loved looking so beautiful. She heard the church bells ringing louder the closer they got. It was her favorite sound. The cold air nipped at her nose and made her cheeks rosy with cold.

After mass, Katie glanced out a window and gasped.

"What's wrong, Katie?" Colleen asked.

"It's snowing!" she ran to her parents, who were talking with the reverend. "Look! It's snowing! We got Christmas snow! It's like magic!"

The three adults laughed as Katue pulled her parents outside the church. "Look! See?"

"Yep, I see it," Sully lifted Katie. "Isn't beautiful?"

"Uh-huh!" Sully put her down so that she could join the other children in playing in the snow. "Just like you," Sully turned to Michaela and kissed her lightly.

She returned the kiss willingly. "Merry Christmas,"

* * *

Katie woke, again disappointed by the ending of her dreams. This happy little girl, who believed in magic and Santa, was gone. In her place was a lonely orphan who jumped and shied away at her own shadow.


	7. Chapter 7

_Oh god...what did i do? This is really depressing...actually teared up while writing it...well tell me what you think! Please review!_

* * *

_Two Years Later_

Katie opened her eyes slowly. The dreams had finally stopped. Last night she was playing the piano, just like she did almost every hour of every day, and she fell asleep on that chair like she did every night, but she didn't dream of anything. She woke when it was still dark, and in a panic had realized she hadn't dreamt anything. Every night the dreams got more and more vague, and then they just ceased to happen altogether.

She curled her legs so her knees met her chin. She remained curled up in bed, thinking. She searched her memory for images of her parents, but nothing came to her. How could she let this happen? She had forgotten what they looked like! She sobbed quietly to herself. Without the dreams, how could she continue on? How could she bear to go on with every day without having something to look forward to every night? How could she live with herself? She had forgotten everything. Frantically she jumped out of bed and rummaged through the trunk at the foot of the bed. She found the rabbit. She brought it close to her face and inhaled deeply. It lost the scent. Over and over again she breathed in the scent of that rabbit, but there was nothing. There was no trace of the scent of her mother as she stitched up the holes in it. There was no trace of the scent of her father as he playfully dangled it above her head. Frustrated, she threw it back in the trunk and slammed it closed. Then she remembered. There used to be a picture on her nightstand. She needed that picture.

Still in her nightgown, she marched to the kitchen. "Colleen?"

"Yes?" Colleen didn't look up.

"Where's my picture?"

Now she looked up. "Well…I…"

"I'm not gonna kill myself with it!" the noisy house fell silent. "I just want to look at it! I…I've…forgotten…everything…"

Colleen stared at Katie with terror. "I…I'll go get it…" she hastily left the room. When she came back she was brushing off the frame. "Here…"

Katie seized the picture in her hands. On the left was a handsome man with bright eyes and long dark hair. Her father. On the right was a beautiful woman with long light hair. Her mother. Now she remembered. Her hair was a coppery color. Katie always played with her hair, because she loved the way it shined when she sun hit it. She also remembered her father's sparkling blue eyes. She kept staring at that picture. In the center was a happy little girl with lively eyes and pretty, light hair. Who was this happy child? Certainly not her. All of her spirit had been left behind in Colorado Springs with this strange child.

Her fingers gently stroked their beautiful, happy faces. What a perfect family. Happiness practically glowed off of the picture. How long had she been deprived of such happiness? Two years? Five? Ten?

How long had she been deprived of this picture? Too long. "How could you take this away?" she said in a faint whisper.

"What?" Colleen leaned in closer.

"How could you take this away…for so long…" suddenly there was tension in her voice. "I was forgetting everything, and you, you had this all along!"

"Katie…I…I was just trying to…"

"To protect me? What could I possibly do with a picture frame, Colleen?"

"Katie please…I'm sorry…"

"All this time! I've been so lonely! And no one has been there for me! You say you are, but you're not! I don't care what you say! You're not my mother! And Andrew isn't my father! My mother…my father…they're dead! Do you hear me?" This was suddenly not about the picture anymore. "They're gone! And for two whole years I've sat in front of a piano hoping that I'll fall asleep dreaming about them, because they weren't here! For two whole years, my life revolved around one thing! The only reason I got up every day was because I knew that I would go to sleep again and see them! And all you cared about was making sure I didn't hurt myself! Sure, when you took everything out of my room, I was fine on the outside, but on the inside…" There were tears streaming down her face. "On the inside I was dying! I was dying on the inside! And now I'm just as dead as they are! No one was there to help me! You say you're a doctor, but what healing have you done? You were never there…you were just too afraid you would lose me too…but now…look what you've done! You've lost me anyway! Because I'm dead! Do you hear me? You killed me!" With that she stormed out the front door.

Colleen stood frozen where she was, her eyes wide with a horrible realization. Every word she said felt like a blow to the head with a dagger to the heart. Her head was pounding. She couldn't breathe. She had failed. She failed. She had brought Katie under her wing so she could take care of her, and help her. But over time, she had grown to need Katie. When she looked at her, it was like looking right at Michaela and Sully. She needed that. Katie was the reason Colleen got out of bed every morning. It was all true. She didn't want to lose Katie. She couldn't. _And now look what I've done…_ She lost her in an even worse manner.

Colleen collapsed on her knees. Her body racked with uncontrollable sobs. Her hands were clamped over her mouth. Stronger the cries got, until she was in complete hysteria. "I'm sorry Ma…" she whimpered. "I've lost your little girl…"

* * *

Tommy watched his mother fall to the ground. All of the children were sitting at the table, waiting for breakfast, but then Katie started to shout. His eyes widened with fear. What was wrong with his Ma? The twins started to whimper with fear. Anthony was frozen in his chair. Unnoticed by his sobbing mother, Tommy took each of the twins and put them I their cribs. He then yanked Anthony off his chair. He pulled him onto the front porch.

"What's wrong with Ma?" Anthony asked.

"I don't know, but we had better get Pa!" Tommy pulled Anthony into the barn. Tommy hitched up the horses to the wagon and sat in the front.

"You can't drive the wagon!" Anthony said.

"Yeah I can!" Tommy said bravely. "Ma's in trouble! I have to!"

Unable to argue with that, Anthony silently sat down beside his brother. Tommy set the horses off in a run and they sped off towards the hospital.


	8. Chapter 8

_Here ya go! Please review!_

* * *

Chapter 8

The boys ran into the hospital.

"Excuse me!" Tommy asked the lady in the front. "I need to see my Pa!"

The lady sighed impatiently. "Who's your father?"

"Andrew! Andrew Cook!"

"Andrew Cook is a doctor,"

"I know! He's gotta come home! Right now!" Tommy insisted. "Something's wrong with our Ma!"

The woman began to take them more seriously. "Does she need a doctor?"

"I don't know! But I need my Pa!" Now Tommy was becoming impatient.

"I'll see what I can do," the lady rose from her chair and walked down a hallway.

* * *

Andrew was dressing a wound on someone's arm when she came running in. "Doctor Cook!"

"Yes Martha?"

"Your boys are here," she panted.

"My…but why…"

"They said there's something wrong with your wife!"

"What…?" Andrew stopped. If his eight and seven year old sons had ridden all the way out here, something must be seriously wrong. His eyes widened and color drained from his face. "Martha, get a nurse in here quickly,"

"I already sent for one, and here he is,"

Andrew's nurse walked in the doorway. "Finish this…I need to go," Andrew dashed out and down the hall. When he came to the front the boys jumped up.

"Pa! Pa! Something's happened!"

"What? What's wrong?"

"She fell on the floor!"

Andrew's face went even paler.

"She was crying real hard!"

When they were in the wagon, Andrew sped off. "She was crying? You mean she's awake?"

"Yeah, but I'm real worried," Anthony said. "I've never seen no one cry like that, except the twins, but they're babies,"

"Did anything happen before she fell?"

"Yeah!" Tommy jumped in. "Katie came downstairs and she was yelling at Ma!"

"How come?"

"I don't know, something about a picture frame…she was talking a lot about Grandma, and Grandpa," Tommy's face went sad. "Then Katie just left,"

"She left?"

'Yeah she went out the front door," Tommy said plainly.

"She ain't come back yet," added Anthony. "She still had pajamas on though!"

"Oh no…" Andrew was still a little confused, but he had put the pieces together. Katie ran away and Colleen blamed herself. When they reached the house, Andrew jumped out of the wagon. "Take care of the horses, and stay outside!"

He ran into the house, to find Colleen in the middle of the floor with a broken plate near her. She was sobbing hysterically with her hands clamped over her mouth.

"Colleen!" Andrew ran to her, frightened by her state. "What happened?" he dropped to his knees.

She moved her hands away from her mouth for a moment, tried to speak, but fell into despair again. She threw herself on Andrew's lap.

"It's…all…my…fault…" she gasped between sobs. "I…killed…her…"

"What?" Andrew said, with extreme fear. "Who did you kill?"

"No Andrew!" she sat up. "I wasn't there for her! Now she's gone!" she wailed before throwing herself back onto Andrew. He pulled her up so that her head was on his shoulder. He embraced her tightly and let her cry on him. He could hear the twins crying upstairs. Who knows how long they were stuck in there.

"It's alright Colleen…just calm down…"

"No," she said abruptly. "It's not alright…"

"What happened Colleen?" He pushed her slightly so that they were facing each other.

"She…came downstairs…she asked for her picture frame,"

"Did you give it to her?"

"Yes! I did! Then she said I wasn't there for her, that I wasn't her mother…she was shouting…over and over saying her mother was dead…she said all I cared about was making sure she didn't get hurt. She said she was fine on the outside…but inside…" she started sobbing again. "She said she was just as dead as they are…she said I killed her Andrew…"

"It's alright Colleen! She's grieving…she's – "

"For two whole years? Andrew she was right! I was never there for her! I just kept her healthy, because I needed her. I needed to see that hint of Ma, and Sully. I couldn't lose her…I didn't love her like I should have…I failed…I failed Ma…and Sully…what would they say? They would be so ashamed! It's my fault!" she shrieked, trying to free herself of Andrew's grasp.

"Colleen! Colleen, please!" Andrew calmed her down again. "Nothing is your fault…"

"Yes it is! It's my fault she ran away!"

"Oh no…" She ran away! He should be looking for her right now! "Colleen…just go lie down…there's…I…"

He helped her into bed and gave her medicine so she could sleep without waking up. He called the boys inside and asked them to feed the twins. He then rushed out to the barn and rode over to his neighbors' house, asking each of them to help find Katie.

* * *

She ran. She didn't look back. She couldn't. _She wasn't there for me…she killed me…_

She was clutching her picture in her hands. This picture was her reason for going on. She was going back to Colorado Springs, and nothing was going to stop her. She had received countless letters from the townsfolk, like Dorothy, and Loren, but especially from Grace and Robert E., her godparents. They were always asking her how she was, what was going on in school…

She admired them for caring enough to ask. She loved that they still wanted to be a part of her life. At least someone wanted to be part of her life.

She arrived in the busy streets, and frantically searched for the train station. She tried to see over countless heads that blocked her view. They all shoved her and pushed her out of their way.

"Excuse me! I need to find the train station!" she called to the crowd. The only response she got was a shove in the ribs. She toppled over at the picture frame fell out of her hands and on to the floor. "NO!" she snatched it up. It was alright, except for a little scratch over her mother's face. She could still tell how beautiful she was though. She clutched the frame closer, and began to shove people herself.

When she found the train it was about to leave. She asked around to find out where it was going. Not Colorado Springs. She checked a train schedule. She would only have to wait a couple of minutes for a train that would take her there. That would take her home.

She sat on a bench and ignored the strange looks that people gave her. She was a strange girl in a nightgown waiting for a train. She didn't care. All that mattered was that she was going home. When her train arrived, she jumped up, and then realized she didn't have a ticket. She scanned the crowd, and found a wealthy looking couple with a small boy. The boy was holding a small pouch that jingled, no doubt full of money. She waited until they came close, and then she crept up near the boy, closed her fist on the pouch and yanked. The pouch came free of the little boy's grasp and she ran back into the building. She purchased a ticket and hid the money sack in her night gown, securing it with a loose string attached to the inside.

She boarded the train and sat down. It didn't matter where. She was going home.


	9. Chapter 9

_Tell me what you think!_

* * *

Chapter 9

She stood up from her seat. The train had stopped in Colorado Springs. Slowly she walked to the end of the car and stepped out into the sunlight. She squinted in the shining light. When her eyesight adjusted she stepped off the train. She began to walk through town, looking at everything. It wasn't all that different. There were so very big changes, and some things that hadn't changed at all. She strolled past the general store, and the Gold Nugget, and all the memories came rushing back. She ran her fingers along the buildings, taking it all in.

* * *

Dorothy was purchasing something in the store and was about to leave when she saw a strange girl wearing a nightgown slowly walking past the store.

"Loren," She whispered. "Who is that girl?"

"I don't know," He walked around the counter and looked closer. "She looks like an oddball though, don't she?"

"Oh Loren!" Dorothy scolded him. "Maybe we ought to take her to Doctor Walsh,"

"Are ya sure she needs that kind of doctor?" Loren asked, now standing in the doorway watching her walk down towards the cafe.

"I don't know," Dorothy was still watching her as well. "But she looks awfully familiar..."

Just then, the girl turned around for just a moment, and Dorothy saw her eyes. And in that instant, she knew exactly who she was. She gasped.

"What? What is it?" Loren said.

"I know who she is..." Dorothy's eyes filled with tears.

"What? Who?"

"That's Katie," she croaked. "Little Katie Sully,"

Loren gasped and his eyes widened with realization. "What's she doin' here? Ain't Colleen supposed to be looking after her?"

"I...don't know...But if she's here all alone, M..." she drew a deep soothing breath. "Michaela would want us to help her. Let's go,"

With that Dorothy and Loren followed Katie down the street.

* * *

"What can I get for ya?" Grace asked.

"I'll have some your famous meatloaf, and some water," Jake said.

"Alright, and you, Hank?"

"Nothin' for me,"

"Alright, I'll be right back," Grace went back to where her daughter was cooking. "I need another meatloaf Joy,"

"Alright Mama," Joy looked up for a moment and from the corner of her eye, noticed a girl who was moving slower than the crowd. She looked closer, and saw that she was in a nightgown. "Ma, who's that girl?"

"What?" Grace didn't look up from her cooking. "Just wait I'll be right back," she left to give Jake his water.

Joy sighed. The poor girl was probably just lost and confused. But she looked so familiar...

"There ya are Jake. Now – " Grace froze. She found herself staring at a girl who was standing in the entrance to the cafe. She was just standing there and looking around. The girl's eyes found Grace, and Grace gasped. She would know those eyes anywhere.

"Everything alright Grace?" Jake tried to find what she was staring at.

"It's Katie," she whispered.

"What?" Jake finally found what he was looking for. "Is that...?"

"Katie..." Grace slowly walked over to where she was standing. "Katie?"  
Grace reached out and unsurely stroked her hair. Katie touched her hand lovingly and smiled.

"Hi Grace,"

"Oh Katie," Grace embraced her. Katie threw her arms around Grace. She was home. "What are ya doing here? Colleen...does she..."

"Please...I'll explain later..." Grace nodded. Dorothy and Loren came walking up behind Katie.

"Katie!" Dorothy exclaimed. She embraced her. "What are you doing here?"

"It ain't safe for you to travel alone! You're a young lady!" Loren scolded protectively, and Katie almost laughed.

"Now I'm sure Katie doesn't want to be questioned right now, she's been on a long trip," Grace put her arm around her. "Let's get you some clothes...Joy!" Grace called. "I'll be right back, take care of the place!"

"Yes Mama!"

Grace led Katie to her house and gave her some clothes to dress into. Grace now began to worry. Why _had_Katie come all the way from Denver in a nightgown? With nothing else with her?

Grace put food in front of her at the table and she noticed that she wouldn't put down something that looked like a picture frame. Even as she ate she wouldn't let go. She knew Katie wouldn't want to be asked questions, but as her godmother, she had a right to know why she was here and what was wrong.

"So Katie," she began nervously. "What brings you to Colorado Springs?"

"I...I ran away..."

"What?" Grace gasped. "Why ever would you do that?"

"I couldn't stand it anymore,"

"What?"

"Everything," She stared off. "Colleen...she was never there...two years ago, I tried to...I found...in my trunk...a knife..." at this Grace looked like she might faint. "But Colleen found me in time. She took everything out of my room that I could hurt myself with. Including this," Katie showed Grace the picture and Grace's throat closed up with grief. "I was afraid to fall asleep, because I would always see them...lying there..." Grace let out a strange strangled sort of sob. "So I stayed up all night, and I played the piano. It was almost like they were there when I played, so I kept playing. Every hour of every day. And from then on I had wonderful dreams about them, and I almost felt complete. But when I woke up, it was a horror to realize it was only a dream. I went straight to the piano, but every day it was harder to picture them. Then the other day, I didn't have any dreams...I had forgotten what they looked like...because Colleen took away my picture..." Her voice rose in anger "And that's not all she did! She never listened to me! She didn't comfort me like she should have! She kept me like a pet! Because I reminded her of them!" She was now standing up and shouting. Grace was frightened by the anger shown inside Katie. "She thought I was fine...but if she would've looked closer, she would've seen I was dying too..." she sat back down and started to sob. Grace swallowed her tears and rushed to her side.

"Oh Katie…" she embraced her. "I know it hurts, I know…" she let one single tear escape her eye. "But ya gotta go back. Ya can't just – "

"I can't go back!" she yelled suddenly. "This is my home!"

"But Katie…" she could see there would be no reasoning with her right now. "Alright then…" Katie continued eating silently.

* * *

That night, Katie lie in bed, unable to sleep. She turned over again, and could see out the window. Then she found herself getting up and walking towards the window. She stared out into the town, and she saw the clinic. The sign didn't say what it did when she left. Anger boiled up inside of her. Where was that sign? It used to be so beautiful. Now there was an ugly one in its place. 'Peter Walsh Medical Clinic' it read. "That's not your clinic," she spat. "That's my ma's…"

She found herself moving again, this time walking out the front door. She took one of Robert E.'s horses and rode down the all too familiar path. In the distance she could see it as she got closer. Her home. She dismounted and walked to the front porch. She walked up the steps, running her finger on the railing as she went by. She opened the unlocked door. Two years…and no one had bought the house. She went inside. As she walked in, she could almost feel their ghosts, watching her every move.

Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. That made her mad. She found an old dirty rag, cleaned it, and began to wipe the dust off of everything. The table that she ate at every night, the counters that her mother cooked on, the mantel over the fireplace that they all sat in front of each night…

She cleaned the rag again and began to move upstairs. She wiped the railing as she moved up. When she found her room, she found it exactly as it had been left. The bed neatly made, the things arranged on the shelves just so. She hadn't taken these things, because she only had minimum space in a trunk and a couple of suitcases. She dusted everything off, every shelf, every picture, and the bed that her father made. When everything was done except the floor, she moved on to Brian and Matthew's old room, which had been used as a guest room.

When she finished, she walked to their bedroom. Taking a shaky breath she stepped in, and found it to be just as perfect as it was. It was just as it should have been, except one thing that was missing. Them. She cleaned everything more carefully and lovingly in this room. Then she swept and mopped the floor. She found all of their clothes and washed them vigorously, until they looked brand new. She hung them out to dry.

Now that everything was dusted, she began to sweep and mop the rest of the floors. When she was done, she stood back and admired her work. The house was sparkling clean. She was proud of herself. She went back outside and collected her parent's now dry clothes. She hung them back up, folded them and put them away. She changed the bedding on their bed. Now it was perfect. Everything was just the way it should have been. She had changed the bedding on the rest of the beds, and now was washing all the old bedding. When she hung them out to dry, she could see the sun was beginning to rise. She went back into the house. She went up to her bedroom, and lay in the bed as if she had been sleeping in it. She then got up, made the bed, and got dressed into a dress that Mama had made for her. She went downstairs and sat at the table, closing her eyes and pretending that they were there. Then she lit a fire in the fireplace and sat in her mothers chair, pretending she was there stroking her head.

She then found her way over to the silverware, which she had scrubbed clean, along with the plates and bowls. She found a knife similar to the one she had brought to Denver with her. She examined it carefully, turning it over, watching it gleam in the sunlight. It would do the trick just fine.

* * *

Grace got out of bed and dressed. She walked over to Joy's room, which Katie was using (Joy had slept in between her parents that night). "Katie," she said opening the door. "It's – "

The bed was empty. She gasped. Panicking she ran back to the bedroom. "Robert E.! Robert E.!"

"What's the matter?" Robert E. got out of bed.

"Katie's gone!"

"What do ya mean she's gone?" Robert E. asked.

"Her bed is empty!" Grace cried. "Get dressed we have to find her!"

"Can I help, Mama?" a now awake Joy asked.

"No! You stay here and open up the café. Ya hear?"

"Yes Mama,"

When Robert E. had dressed, they both began to franticly search the town for any sign of Katie. The town was just starting to come to life. Jake came out wondering what was going on.

"Katie wasn't in her bed this morning!" Grace said; ready to burst out in tears.

"Alright, I'll get a search party together," Jake ran to get Hank, Loren, and other men to help find the missing girl. Soon, Dorothy was running up to Grace.

"Oh Dorothy! I can't find her anywhere!"

"It's alright Grace," Dorothy put her arms around Grace. "I know we'll find her,"

Dorothy thought for a long while. Where could she possibly have gone? _They already checked Michaela's old clinic…_ She gasped. _That's it! _Dorothy swung herself onto a horse and rode out to Michaela and Sully's homestead, leaving the others wondering where she was going.

When she arrived, she could see the windows had been scrubbed clean. She opened the door and found Katie holding a knife to her stomach.

"Katie!" she wailed.

Startled, Katie dropped the knife.

"W…what're ya doing?" Dorothy ran to pick it up before Katie did.

"I…I don't know…"

"Katie…" Dorothy reached out and cupped the girl's face in her hands. "Katie, ya can't be doing things like that. Ya already had Colleen worried sick, and now you've scared the whole town!"

"But this is my home! I have a right to be here!"

"I understand Katie but – "

"No! You don't understand! You don't know what it's like to have every day go by with loneliness, and pain…and…and…you don't know what it's like…" her voice went up to shouting. "To watch little children being with their family, when I can't ever get mine back! 'Cause they're dead! I just want to stop suffering every day of my life! For two years I've put up with it, and I just can't take it anymore!" she lunged for the knife in Dorothy's hands. Quickly, Dorothy threw it behind her and held Katie off from getting to it.

"Katie! Listen to me!" she tried to sound gentle. But then she lost it. "I lost someone too Katie!" she shouted, and Katie froze. "Michaela was the best friend I've ever had! And she's gone! But do you see me trying to kill myself?" The words hung in the air and suffocated Katie. "She was a friend to everyone, even people who didn't deserve her. The whole town lost a wonderful doctor, and a wonderful friend. Sure, none of us lost a mother, but ya gotta understand!"

Katie stood there silently.

"Don't you remember?" Dorothy looked her in the eye. "How strong your mother was?" that was all she could say. She wiped her eyes quickly. "Don't…you…remember Katie? She would have never left behind the people she loved willingly. She would have stayed strong. She would be just as upset, and as broken as you are, but she would have eventually pieced herself back together. Ya can't just shut out the people ya love. Whatever they're trying to do, they're trying to help you. And now I'm telling you, ya gotta move on. I'm not saying ya gotta forget about them, I'm not saying ya gotta stop being upset, but you've gotta see that there are other people in this world who still love you, and want to help you. You've got to start getting out of this state you've been in, and try to see the people around you who care. Let go of the past, and try and see what your future can hold,"

Katie suddenly realized everything. Colleen was only trying to help her. She had treated everyone so horribly… "I'm…I'm an awful person…"

"No! Katie!" Dorothy embraced her tightly. "You're a beautiful person! It's only natural for you to do the things ya did!"

"But I hurt so many people! I was so selfish! Everybody else lost them too!" she was now hysterically crying. Dorothy held her in that embrace. "I'm sorry Mama..." Katie whispered. "I'm sorry Papa…"

These words broke Dorothy's heart. "It's alright Katie…it's going to be alright now…"


	10. Chapter 10

_Sorry Colleen x Andrew fans...Colleen and/or Andrew might be a little OOC, but it all has to happen for progression of the story. Enjoy! And_ **_PLEASE REVIEW_**

_Oh and i forgot to mention a thanks to the guest named Maria for inspiring me for this line: _

"Don't you remember?" Dorothy looked her in the eye. "How strong your mother was?"

_Thanks Maria!_

* * *

Chapter 10

Andrew paced back and forth. He had searched all day and could not find Katie. Images ran through his head of all the horrible things that could have happened to her in the bustling streets of Denver…

Then there was a knock on the door. He rushed to open it, desperately hoping it was news of Katie.

"Telegram, from Colorado Springs,"

Andrew frowned. "Thank you," he closed the door. What would happen if he couldn't find her? Colleen would never smile again…he shuddered. The thought of his wife so depressed frightened him. He started to read the telegram.

_Katie is here in Colorado Springs. She is fine. She is safe with me. I will take good care of her. _

_-Grace _

Andrew's heart leapt with joy. Katie was alive! And she was healthy! She had gone to Colorado Springs! Of course! How had he not seen this before? He ran up to tell Colleen.

"Colleen! Katie's alright!"

"What?" she stood up. "Where is she?"

"Colorado Springs,"

"Oh…"

"But at least we know she's safe, Grace has her,"

"Yes…" Colleen sat back down. "She must miss it…"

"Miss what?"

"Colorado Springs," Colleen suddenly began to realize something. "That must be why she's so miserable…she's so far from home! Andrew that's it!"

"What's it?"

"Don't you see?" she stood up again. "We dragged her away from anything comforting in her home. We made her come live in a strange house, in a strange city. She needs to be home!"

"What are you saying, Colleen? That we move back to Colorado Springs?"

"Yes!"

"But Colleen!" Andrew was surprised that Colleen would ever consider such a crazy idea. "We built our whole lives here!"

"We also did in Boston!" Colleen retorted. "But we moved here!"

"That was before we had children! They were raised here!"

"And Katie was raised there!" Colleen shouted. "Can't you understand? Our children have parents to guide them through a new place! Katie is an orphan! She has no one! Don't you understand? I'm trying to do what's best for her!"

"But Colleen, we have jobs here – "

"Is that all you care about? Your job?" Colleen was furious. "Well you can tell the hospital I quit!"

"Colleen! You can't just – "

"Yes I can!" she spat at him. "And I am going to Colorado Springs with or without you!" she stormed out of the room.

"Colleen!" Andrew tried to follow her, but decided it wouldn't be wise to upset her further. And he knew Colleen would never just suddenly leave to go to Colorado Springs.

For the rest of the day Andrew didn't see Colleen. He knew she was in the house, but where she had been was a mystery. The only time he saw her was when she was cooking dinner, and she remained silent. While they ate, Tommy noticed something was going on. To see his parents so silent at dinner was never a good sign. His mother didn't even look up from her food.

* * *

Colleen silently rose from her bed. She pulled out the suitcase from under the bed that she had been packing all day. She got dressed and silently crept out of the room. She entered the boys' room, and grabbed each of their suitcases. She brought them outside and put them in the wagon. She came back inside and went back upstairs and up the ladder. She put Charlotte's coat on her and carried her outside. She carefully placed her in the wagon and hurried back inside. She put Johnny's coat on him and carried him out to the wagon as well. Then she went back into the boys' room. She bent down to the sleeping figure on the bottom bunk.

"Anthony," she gently shook him. "You have to wake up,"

"What?" he grumbled sleepily.

"Come on, time to get up,"

"How come?" he got out of bed. "It's still dark!"

"Shh!" Colleen pressed a finger to her lips. "We have to be very quiet, ok?"

"Yes Mama,"

"Tommy, Tommy wake up,"

"I'm tired Ma!"

"I know, but you have to get up!" she gently pulled his arm to that he was sitting up.

"But it's so early,"

"I know," she helped down the ladder and off of his bed. "Now get dressed quickly and put your coats on. Meet me outside by the wagon,"

Colleen hurried back out to the sleeping children in the wagon. She hitched up the horses and made sure the twins weren't too cold. Soon enough, the boys came running outside.

"What do you think is going on?" Anthony asked Tommy.

"I don't know,"

When they reached the wagon, Colleen told them to sit in the wagon. Then she started to drive the wagon away from the house.

Anthony was puzzled. "Ain't Pa comin' too?"

"No sweety," Colleen sighed. "Just me,"

"How come?" Tommy asked.

"Because, there's some important things that need to be done, that your father doesn't want done,"

Anthony and Tommy exchanged puzzled looks, but silently agreed not to ask any more questions.

When they arrived at the train station, Colleen told them to stay put while she got train tickets. She had looked at the train schedule earlier, and the earliest train to Colorado Springs was at five thirty in the morning. Right now it was five o'clock. They would just wait for a while. Colleen told the boys to take their suitcases out of the wagon and to hold them while they waited for the train. Colleen had her suitcase next to her on the bench while she balanced both twins on her lap. Traveling with four children was going to be more difficult than she imagined.

The train arrived five minutes early, and Colleen rose to start boarding immediately. The longer they had to get settled the better. She carried Johnny in one arm and her suitcase in the other. Tommy was holding Charlotte's hand as she wobbled towards the train. Colleen struggled up the stairs to get on the train. When she reached the top, she realized she would have to put everything down to help Charlotte and the boys up. But a man that was standing off to the side lifted Charlotte, then Tommy, then Anthony up onto the train.

"Thank you," Colleen smiled the best she could.

The man tipped his hat and smiled condolingly. Colleen wondered why, then realized as she sat down on the train. She was a woman traveling alone with four children at five thirty in the morning. _He thinks I'm leaving my husband. _She wasn't really leaving him, was she? She was just going to Colorado Springs to see Katie, and to possibly stay there if that's what Katie wanted. He was welcome to join her if he really wanted to.

But then it all sank in. What was he going to think when he woke up the next morning? Before she could change her mind and run back to the house, the train was already leaving the station.

* * *

Dorothy came riding into town with Katie on the back of her horse.

"Dorothy! You found her!" Grace exclaimed as she ran to the horse. "Everybody! She's right here! It's alright!"

Everyone returned to their normal activities. "Katie what were you thinking?" Grace scolded her. "You had me scared half to death! I'm responsible while you're here! If anything happened to ya while you were here, Colleen would never trust me again!" Grace embraced her. "And I would lose my mind if anything happened to ya,"

Katie smiled. Dorothy was right. So many people cared about her. "I'm sorry Grace…I just…needed to be alone for a while,"

"It's alright, 'cause it's all over now," Grace led her back towards the house. "Now let's get you some breakfast,"

Just then the train pulled into the station. Dorothy was walking past when she saw a very familiar person step off the train.

"Colleen?" she rushed to her. "Colleen! It's good to see ya, Katie's in Grace's house," She helped the children off the train. "But…where's Andrew?"

Colleen took a deep guilty breath. By now, he was probably awake and wondering where his wife and children were. "He…didn't come…" Right about now he'd be waking up to an empty bed.

"Colleen," Dorothy looked her in the eye and lowered her voice. "Did you leave your husband?"

"No! Yes…" Colleen argued with herself. "I'll explain later. Right now I need to get rid of my luggage and settle the children somewhere,"

Dorothy nodded slowly. She led them over to the Gold Nugget. They got a room and the children fell asleep. "Dorothy, would you mind staying here with them while I go to Katie?"

"Not at all,"

"Thank you," Colleen quickly ran to Grace's house. She knocked on the door, and Grace answered.

"Hello Colleen," Grace said surprised. Then she remembered what Katie told her. Would Katie want her there?

"Colleen?" she heard Katie's voice.

"Katie?"

Katie got up slowly, but then ran to her and threw her arms around her. "I'm sorry Colleen…I never meant to hurt you…"

"I'm sorry too…"

The two sisters stayed in a long loving embrace. "Colleen?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, and I'm glad to live with you,"

"I love you too," they released each other.

Grace let there be silence for a moment. "Please stay for breakfast, would you Colleen?"

"I'm sorry Grace, I have the children alone with Dorothy at the Gold Nugget, I should go," she started to walk away. "Thank you anyway. And," she ran and embraced Grace. "Thank you for taking care of her,"

"It's my job," Grace said modestly.

Colleen led Katie over to the Gold Nugget. "Colleen, why are the children with Dorothy? Where's Andrew?"

Colleen's breath cut short. "He…didn't come," Right about now he would be realizing that she left him.

"But…" Katie thought for a while. "Colleen…you left him?"

"I…think so…" then she shook her head. "No! I mean…I don't know…I did but I didn't mean for it to be like that!"

"What do you mean?" Katie asked as they made their way to the hotel room.

"I just wanted to come and find you!"

"You mean, Andrew didn't want to find me?"

"No! It isn't like that at all," Colleen insured her. "It's just that…I told him that maybe we should move back here…in Colorado Springs…since you grew up here…and it's a familiar place…I thought it would make you happy…"

"Oh Colleen!" Katie threw herself onto her. "Could we, really? Would you? For me?"

Colleen couldn't help but smile. Even though Katie was now fifteen, there were pieces of a younger girl peeking out. "Of course, if that's what you want,"

"Yes! Yes that is exactly what I want!" Katie was bright with joy. Colleen couldn't remember a time when she'd seen her that happy. How could she refuse her now? "Since I came back, I started to remember how much I love everyone here, and how much I miss it,"

"I know," Colleen knocked on the door to the room. Dorothy came to answer it. "Thank you Dorothy,"

"Welcome," Dorothy left and made her way downstairs.

"Where would we live?" Katie asked.

"I don't know, I guess we could stay here until we find a more permanent place,"

"Couldn't we…oh never mind…"

"What?"

"We could…live in the homestead…" her voice had dropped to a timid whisper.

Colleen silently gasped. Live in the homestead…how could she? It wasn't built for her! It was built for Michaela to live in…with her family. Colleen would feel like an intruder living in that house with her family. "Katie…I don't think I ever could…"

Katie looked at her with a sad face.

"Katie…I can't live in a house that was built by your Pa for your Ma…it just wouldn't feel right…"

Katie had tears in her eyes, remembering how he much he loved his wife. The house was built out of love for her. "But Colleen…I would rather see you live in it than a stranger who bought it for money…and changed everything around inside…I couldn't bear the thought of that…"

"You're sure you won't mind?"

"Of course not…" her voice dropped down to whisper again. "As long as you don't touch their room…"

Colleen's heart swelled. "Of course I won't," she hugged her sister and kissed the top of her head.


	11. Chapter 11

_Please Review! And haha i lied this story is going to be really long again... I though of other stuff! Enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 11

Andrew's eyes opened to an empty bed. He assumed Colleen was just up early to make breakfast. He got up and got dressed, and went up the ladder to check on the twins. When he went downstairs he would tell Colleen he checked on them for her. When he reached the top he glanced over at Katie's empty room. Maybe he should go to Colorado Springs and get her. But there really wasn't a hurry if she was with Grace. He walked up to Johnny's crib. Empty. Charlotte's crib was the same. Puzzled, Andrew walked down the ladder again. Then realization dawned on him.

"Oh no," He rushed to the boy's room. "Tommy? Anthony?" the bunk beds were empty. "No!" he went through the boys' drawers. Their clothes were gone. "Colleen, what did you do?" he ran downstairs. There was no one there. He knew their argument was harsh, and it left them both silent for the rest of the day, but she loved him...didn't she? They had argued before! But never that bad...No! He convinced himself. Colleen would never leave me!

But she had.

He had to follow her. He had to find her. He had to beg her to come back. He put his coat on and ran to get a horse. He jumped on and rode as fast as he could to the train station. When he got there, he found a train schedule. The next train to Colorado Springs left at one thirty. It was only nine o'clock! He rode back to the house. He went inside and kicked the wall in anger.

"I should have listened to her!" he shouted. "She was only trying to do what was best for her little sister..." He sank down to the floor and began to sob. "What have I done?" Fear crept into his mind. What if she doesn't want me back? What if she doesn't want me to follow her? There was only one way to find out.

And that way was leaving at one thirty.

* * *

Colleen, Katie, the twins, and the boys all sat at a table at Grace's Café. They were eating lunch there.

"So Colleen," Katie began. "How come Andrew didn't come?"

"Well…" Colleen fidgeted in her seat. "He didn't want to live here. He kept saying we had a life back in Denver. All he cares about is his job…" she said angrily.

"Really?" Katie asked.

"I kept saying that I had a life back in Colorado Springs, and so did you. I…" she stared down in shame. "I quit my job at the hospital…"

"But Colleen!" Katie exclaimed, shocked. "You've always wanted to be a doctor! You'll never get another job, being that you're a woman!"

"I know…"

"Unless…" Katie thought of something.

"What?"

"You could work at the clinic!"

"But Katie they already have a doctor – "

Just then Grace appeared with their food. "Actually, he's been talking about leaving a lot lately. Now that there's a new doctor in town," Grace looked at Colleen. "He finally can,"

Katie looked at Colleen hopefully. "We'll have to see," Colleen said.

"But you will think about it, right?" Katie asked.

Colleen nodded and smiled. "Now let's eat,"

"Where do you think the sign is?" Katie asked.

"What sign?"

"Her sign…for her clinic…"

"Oh…I don't know…"

"I hope they still have it…it was really beautiful…much more beautiful than that one…"

"I'm sure they do," Colleen made a mental note to talk to the new doctor about that right after lunch.

After lunch, Grace's daughter Joy wanted to show Katie some of the things that changed before she left town. Mr. Brey had offered to watch the boys while they looked around in his store. So now Colleen just had the twins. Each of them holding one of her hands, they walked to the clinic. The sign above it read: 'Peter Walsh Medical Clinic'. Katie was right. The previous owner had a nicer sign. But of course, that sign was made by Sully…

Colleen entered the clinic slowly. To her surprise, nothing had changed. All the furniture was still the same, the paint on the walls, the little decorations were all the same. The only thing missing was her, or any trace that she'd been here. Her diploma from medical school, pictures of her and her family, were all gone.

"Can I help you miss?"

"What?" Colleen snapped back to reality. "Oh, yes, I'm Doctor Colleen C – " What would she call herself? Cook or Cooper? Michaela kept her maiden name when she got married. "Cooper, and I heard that you were considering hiring another doctor,"

"You're a doctor?" the man said. "Strange town. Every other doctor here was a woman!"

"Actually," Colleen said, trying to keep calm. "There was only one other. And she happened to be my mother,"

"Oh! Right! The Cooper children were hers!" Colleen rolled her eyes. _How ignorant could a person be? _"Now, you want to take the job I'm offering?"

"Yes, I would like to consider it. But first, I have a question,"

"Yes?"

"The sign, the one with my mother's name on it, where is it?"

"Uh…hmm…I…"

"Yes?"

"Oh that's right! The Mayor…oh what's his name…?"

"Slicker?"

"Yes! Him! He moved it over to the blacksmith's barn…his name…"

"Robert E.?"

"Yes!" The man said, sounding exhausted. Colleen was losing her patience with this man.

"Mama! Hold me!" Charlotte begged. Colleen bent over and picked up her daughter.

"You should go talk to the blacksmith. Now," he went to her desk - his desk, and pulled out some papers. "I would like to – "

"Mama!" Johnny whined, seeing her holding Charlotte. "Hold me!"

"Mama's busy Johnny," Colleen tried to quiet him.

"No!" Johnny whined.

"Um, could we do this another time?" Colleen asked.

"Certainly," The man stood up. "Pleasure to meet you, oh and I am Doctor Peter Walsh,"

"Thank you for your time," Colleen started to walk out, dragging a whining Johnny by the hand.

"You know," Mr. Walsh said, causing Colleen to stop and turn around. "How's someone like you, with two little kids, gonna run this place?"

"I have a sister who watches them and the boys – "

"Oh there's more? What about your husband? Can't he watch them?"

"I'll thank you to stop questioning me about my life," she said through clenched teeth.

"I just need to know these things if you're going to take over my clinic – "

"It is NOT your clinic!" she spat. "It is my mother's clinic! And if she could run it with four children, so can I!" With that Colleen turned on her heels and stormed off to the store to pick up the boys. She wanted to be as far away from that man as possible. How dare he question her! How dare he call it _his _clinic! It was Michaela's! If Michaela could do it, so could she! But Michaela's children were older. Matthew was almost of age when she took them in. He and Colleen helped around the house and with Brian. And then when Katie was born, she had all three of them to help. Half of Colleen's children were younger than Brian was when Michaela took them in. Could she do it? She had Katie, but wouldn't Katie want to help around to clinic? _Maybe I can't do it…_ No. Michaela would never give up no matter what. That clinic was once again going back to the Quinn family, whether that Walsh character liked it or not.

She entered the store, and found Mr. Brey watching her boys carefully. "Thank you Mister Brey, I hope they behaved?"

"Oh they were fine," he laughed. "Except this one here tried to steal some of my candy," he grabbed Anthony by the wrist.

"But you gave it to me!" Anthony said, baffled.

"Oh, I know," he ruffled his hair. "I'm just messin' with ya,"

"Oh," Anthony laughed.

"Thanks again, Mister Brey," Colleen said, leading her boys outside.

"Any time, Colleen," Loren smiled. "Those boys remind me so much of Brian when he was younger,"

"I know…" Colleen said sadly, remembering the sweet days of her childhood. "Goodbye, Mister Brey,"

Colleen did miss Brian, maybe she should send him a telegram, saying how everyone was, and that she was living in Colorado Springs again. Maybe she should send one to Matthew as well. The family made their way back to the café to get Katie. They then made their way back to the Gold Nugget, and Colleen asked Katie to watch the children. She then made her way to Robert E.'s livery.

"Hello Colleen," Robert E. greeted her. "What can I do for ya?"

"Doctor Walsh said you had something that belonged to my Ma,"

"What sort of something?" Robert E. asked.

"The sign, above the clinic,"

"Yes," Robert E. said solemnly. "Follow me," Robert E. led Colleen to the back towards a barn that looked abandoned. He opened the door and there it was, looking good as new. "I've uh…been taking care of it, in case you, or Brian or Katie ever wanted it for anything,"

"Robert E. …" Colleen marveled at it. "After all these years…it's still so beautiful…" Robert E. nodded. "Thank you," Colleen embraced him.

"I plan on putting it back up when I take over the clinic, and I was worried that it would be destroyed…but…"

"It was no trouble," Robert E. said. "It's what ya do for your friends, even if you'll never see 'em again," he cleared his throat. "Well, you let me know when to put that sign up," He quickly left the barn.

Colleen's heart melted. Why did she ever leave this town? And now that she was back, how could she ever return to Denver? She loved each and every person in this town.

She walked back to the Gold Nugget and entered their room, to find the boys playing on the floor and Katie playing with the twins. "Katie, good news,"

Katie looked up curiously.

"Robert E. has the sign, safe and sound in a barn," Katie beamed. "And he's been taking care of it, so it still looks brand new,"

"Oh that's wonderful!" Katie exclaimed. "Will you put it back up when you take back the clinic?"

"Of course," Colleen kissed the top of her head. "Now let's head back to the café for dinner. Tomorrow, we'll move into the homestead,"

Katie nodded. "Oh the twins napped while you were gone,"

"Good," Colleen nodded. She had a feeling that from this point, life was going to start getting better for the entire Quinn-Cooper-Sully family.


	12. Chapter 12

_Tell me what you think!_

* * *

Chapter 12

Andrew practically leapt off the train. It was early evening when he arrived. He had no idea where she would be. He ran to the Gold Nugget.

"Jake!" he panted. "Has Colleen got a room here?"

"Yeah," Jake said, with suspicion. "She's eating with the kids at the café right now,"

"Thank you!" Andrew ran over to the café.

"This is so good!" Colleen marveled. "I almost forgot what good cooking is like!"

"Oh Colleen, I love your cooking!" Katie assured her.

"It's even better when you help," Colleen said, remembering a much younger Katie helping her mother cook dinner. Then she regretted saying it after seeing Katie's smile fade away. "I'm sorry…"

"No…it's alright…it's good to remember the good things…so that the bad don't take over and consume you…"

Colleen nodded. "Remember you helped me make a blackberry pie – "

"And my hands were purple for a whole week?" Katie finished for her. They both started to laugh.

"Oh, Tommy," Colleen turned to him. "When you were a baby, Katie was, how old were you Katie?"

"I was probably only seven!"

"Alright well you were just a baby and Katie was only seven. When she first saw you she kept holding you, and wanting to feed you, like she was your mother," Colleen laughed.

"Did I really?" Katie laughed. "Oh now I remember! You and the new baby were getting so much attention, I thought that if I pretended he was my baby, I would get as much attention!" They both laughed again.

"Colleen!" a familiar voice shouted above the laughter.

Colleen's eyes widened and her face drained of color. "Andrew?"

He was running towards the table. When he reached it, he threw up his hands in aggravation. "What are you doing?"

"I'm eating dinner with my family," Colleen said as coolly as possible.

"You know what I mean Colleen!"

"Andrew please!" Colleen tried to quiet him. "Can't we do this later? I'm in the middle of – "

"How could you just leave?" he said, his face getting redder with every word. "How could you take my children away from me?"

"I knew you'd follow me anyway – "

"You can't assume things, Colleen! What if I didn't know where you were going?"

"Of course you knew where I was going – "

"Colleen please! Stop trying to change the subject! Why would you leave me like this?"

"I wasn't exactly – "

"Yes you were!"

"Andrew, stop!" there were tears in her eyes, and the children were frightened at seeing there father so angry. "Stop it Andrew! The children!"

"You took an oath on our wedding day! That you would stay with me! I am your husband!"

Colleen stood up and whispered harshly in his face. "You are not the Andrew I married,"

Andrew almost stumbled back. "How could…I…"

"I came back because I love this town," Colleen began. "And because I love my sister. Is that good enough for you?" she turned back to her meal.

"No! It isn't!"

"Andrew please!"

"Stop it Colleen!" he spat at her.

Colleen's head snapped up to look at him. "Andrew…" she reached out, genuinely concerned for his well being.

"Don't touch me!" he grabbed her by the wrist and wrenched her hand away from him.

"Andrew!" Colleen gasped, appalled. Katie's eyes filled up and she dashed away from the table. Dorothy ran after her. Half the town had heard Andrew shouting. "How could you embarrass me like that…and Katie?" she picked up Charlotte. "Tommy, grab Johnny's hand. Come on Anthony, we're leaving," she hurriedly left the table, and the children almost had to run to keep up. They disappeared into the Gold Nugget. She left Tommy in charge and rushed to find Katie. She found her in the meadow by the church. Dorothy was sitting by her, trying to comfort her.

"It isn't your fault," Dorothy said.

"Yes it is!" she wailed. "Colleen left him because of me, and now Andrew is angry…"

"Oh Katie…" Dorothy embraced her.

"Katie?" Colleen approached them.

"Oh Colleen! I'm so sorry!" she got up and threw her arms around her. "It's my fault, I know it! You never would have left if I didn't run away! Now he's so angry…I'm sorry!"

"Katie it isn't your fault!" Colleen pulled up her chin so their eyes met. "I don't blame you!"

"You don't?"

"No," She kissed her head. "Let's get you back to the hotel, you need some rest,"

Katie nodded. "Thank you Dorothy," Colleen said.

Dorothy nodded.

When they reached the hotel, Colleen got the children all settled in and Katie fell right asleep. She thought of what Andrew had said today. Then she thought of what she said back. Did she say anything wrong? But she was right. That wasn't the man she married. How had he changed so much? All over moving to Colorado Springs?

Or maybe it was Colleen who changed. Maybe she changed the day they died. Maybe she hadn't noticed it, but Andrew had. Maybe she wasn't the woman he married. It was all a misunderstanding. She needed to find him! To apologize! She jumped up and ran downstairs.

"Jake! Is Andrew staying here?"

"Yeah," Jake said curiously.

"What room is he in? Please I need to know,"

Jake told her the room, and she ran off.

Jake looked over at Hank who simply shrugged his shoulders.

She found his room, and knocked on the door. "Andrew! Andrew it's me! Please – "

The door opened. "Colleen?"

"I…I…"

"I'm sorry!" they both said at once.

"No it's my fault!" they said together.

"Colleen…" Andrew began. "Ever since Michaela and Sully died, you were acting very distant. I tried to help you, but you always acted like you were fine. Soon, you were acting so different…you…"

"I wasn't the woman you married…" she finished for him.

"I tried to change the way I acted, since you were so sensitive on the subject…I guess I changed as well…and then when you suggested we leave, I just lost it. I was so angry that you had changed so much…this is sounding so selfish…"

"No please keep going," Colleen insisted.

"I thought you were more concerned about Katie than me…"

"Andrew…"

"And then when you left…I just…"

She pressed her lips against his. When she pulled away, there were tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry…" he embraced her.

"I'm sorry too…I was just so selfish…I didn't even think about Katie's feelings…Did…did I hurt you…?" he looked at her with tears in his eyes.

"Oh, no!" Colleen assured him. "I'm fine, I promise…Can we please just forget it ever happened?"

Andrew nodded.

"T…tomorrow, we're moving into the homestead," she said.

"Well then I guess I should go back to Denver tomorrow to get the rest of the things we'll need,"

She nodded. "Thank you for understanding,"

The next day, Andrew had gone back to Denver to get the rest of the things they would need. Colleen, Katie and the children were riding out to the homestead. The closer they got, the more Colleen dreaded going into that house, crossing into the world of her childhood, and being engulfed by happy memories that only make her sad now. When she could see it in the distance, her heart got caught in her throat. It was still so beautiful…

When she went inside, she was surprised to see it clean and looking brand new. "I cleaned it…before you even got to town…" Colleen's eyes then fell on the knife that was still on the floor. "It's ok, Dorothy talked to me…"

Colleen nodded. Everything came rushing back. She tried to hold back tears. "Now boys," she went down to their level. "You are not to go in Grandma and Grandpa's room. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mama," they both said.

She then turned to Katie. "Things are just going to get better from here," she put her hand on her shoulder.

"I know," Katie took a deep breath, swallowing her own tears. "Now I know that,"


	13. Chapter 13

_Please tell me what y'all think!_

* * *

Chapter 13

_Two months later: _

"Breakfast is ready, Katie!" Colleen called to her.

"I'll be right there!" Katie called back. She was busy playing with little Charlotte. She had always wanted a little sister, but her parents were never able to conceive after her mother had a miscarriage. She was showing her some of the toys that Katie had played with when she was her age. The wooden ones that Sully carved, or the soft ones that Michaela sewed together. "Come on, Charlie," Katie lifted her up and carried her downstairs.

Colleen heard the noises on the stairs and turned around to see Katie carrying Charlotte down the stairs, smiling and laughing. Colleen couldn't help but smile. Katie had made such a great improvement in the past two months. She ran away from home with the intention of ending her life. But now here she was, in her parent's home, smiling and laughing with her niece. Colleen had been worried that moving back to the homestead would bring back haunting memories for Katie, and make things worse for her. But on the contrary, it had helped her tremendously. Joy had been especially helpful with familiarizing Katie with the town again. And of course Mr. Brey had helped.

"Since you're gonna be staying here now," He had said to Katie. "I thought I'd give you a little 'Welcome Back' gift,"

"Oh Mister Brey…" Katie had said.

"I don't know if you're too old for this now, but I got ya all your favorite candies in this bag," he lifted a decent sized pouch.

Katie threw herself on him. "Thanks Grandpa," she felt his loving arms around her. "I'm so glad to be back,"

"It's good to have ya back,"

"We're ready Colleen," Katie sat down at the table, in the spot she had sat in her whole life.

"Good," Colleen put the food on the table. "How are you this morning?"

"Fine thanks," Katie said. "Charlie really likes my old toys, don't ya Charlie?"

"Yeah! They're really fun!" Charlotte clapped her hands.

"That's good," Colleen sat down.

"Do you have any appointments at the clinic today?" Katie asked.

"Just one,"

"Who is it?"

"Mrs. Hewitt," Colleen said. "She told me yesterday that she might be pregnant, and I was too busy to check yesterday, so she's coming in today,"

"Is there anything you need me to do?" Katie asked excitedly.

"I updated patient records yesterday…I cleaned up last week…No, I don't think there is,"

"Oh," Katie said sadly. But then she thought "So then we have time to do other things?"

"I guess," Colleen said. "We just have to be at the train station at four o'clock, since Andrew's coming home from his medical conference today,"

"Alright. What time is Mrs. Hewitt's appointment?"

"Noon,"

"Good," Katie said cleaning up her plate and Charlotte's.

"How come you always play with Charlotte, and not me?" Anthon asked.

"We're girls," Katie smiled. "We do things that little boys wouldn't like,"

"I ain't little!" he protested.

Katie laughed. "I'm gonna go into town, I'll see ya there," Katie went outside and mounted her horse. She rode into town and picked two handfuls of flowers. She made her way over to the cemetery.

"Hey Mama, hi Papa," she said placing the flowers on their graves. "Ma, work at the clinic has been good for Colleen, and me. Everyone's happy to have someone from our family working there again. Colleen wired Brian, and Matthew, but they haven't wired back yet. Pa, Charlotte really likes the toys you made for me, and I hope you don't mind that she's playing with them. I miss you both every day. But I'm better than I was before. I don't wanna die anymore. Life is too beautiful…" she sniffled. "Why did you leave…it's really wonderful here in Colorado Springs…but I don't blame you, it ain't your fault. I hope wherever you are is nice too," She kissed her hand and touched the stone. "I love you Mama, I love you Papa,"

She rose slowly and walked away, leaving her grief and sorrows behind. She saw Joy running across to the store. Katie ran after her. "Hey Joy!" she followed her into the store.

"Hey Katie," Joy panted.

"Why are you running?" Katie asked.

"Someone dared the Perkins boy to kiss me," Joy giggled.

Katie shook her head and laughed. She had never been one to be interested in boys and kissing.

"I figured he wouldn't even come near me in here, with all the grown ups shopping,"

"Hello Joy, Katie" Mr. Brey said.

"Hey Mister Brey,"

"Hi Grandpa," Katie said.

"What can I get ya?"

"Nothin', we're just looking," Joy said.

Katie heard the train coming in. She looked at the clock. It was much too early to be Andrew's train. She stepped outside to see if anything interesting had come, with Joy close behind her. She watched countless people come off the train, but one stood out to her. He was a tall handsome man holding a small child in his arms. There was also a woman with him. She looked closer at the man. He looked oddly familiar…

Another man came off the train with a little girl following after him, and then a woman following her. This man also looked familiar. She took a step closer.

"You alright Katie?" Joy asked.

"Yeah, it's just that…those men, with the little kids, they look so familiar,"

"I've never seen 'em," Joy shrugged and went back into the store.

Katie's curiosity got the best of her and she walked over to the train station. The closer she got, the more familiar they looked. But then, she suddenly realized.

"Brian! Matthew!"

She started to run to the station. She threw herself onto Matthew, then on Brian. "W…what are you doing here?"

"We each got Colleen's telegram sayin' she came back to Colorado Springs," Brian said.

"It said she missed us too," Matthew said. "We decided we'd come for a little visit,"

"But…why didn't you say something? Colleen and I were so worried!"

"We wanted it to be a surprise," Brian laughed.

"Oh I'm so happy you're here!" Katie embraced each of her big brothers again. "And who is this?" Katie said looking at the little boy in Brian's arms.

"This is Joseph," Brian said.

"Hello Joseph," Katie said lovingly. "I'm your Aunt Katie," she cooed. "How old is he?"

"He just turned one," Brian's wife, Diana said.

Katie then turned to the little girl hiding behind Matthew's wife, Emma. Emma had come back to Colorado Springs one day, and, though Katie didn't know the details, Matthew and Emma had picked up where they left off and got married eventually. "Is this little Kirsten?" Kirsten nodded shyly. "You're not so little anymore, are you? How old are you now?"

"Seven,"

"Wow," Katie said. "The last time I saw you was two years ago. You were just a little thing back then. And now look at you! You're so tall!" Kirsten giggled.

Just then, a wagon pulled up in front of the clinic, Colleen's wagon. Katie's face lit up. "I'll go get Colleen!" She ran off. "Colleen! Colleen! I've got to show you something!"

"Can it wait? Mrs. Hewitt's appointment is soon,"

"No it can't! It's really important!" Katie insisted.

"Alright I'll be right there just let me get the children settled – "

"No! They gotta come too!" Katie picked up Charlotte. "Come on!"

Confused, Colleen picked up Johnny and followed Katie to the train station. She couldn't possibly understand what was so important. But then…

"Matthew! Brian!" she exclaimed. She ran the rest of the way there, put Johnny down and embraced her brothers. "What…how come you didn't…?"

"We wanted to surprise you!" Brian said.

"Well, you did a good job of that!" Colleen laughed. "Is this little Joseph, who I've heard so much about?"

"Yep," Brian said.

"And is that Kirsten?" Colleen bent down. "What a big girl!"

"I'm seven years old!" Kirsten said, finally coming out from behind Emma's skirts.

"Really? I can't believe it! You were only five the last time I saw you!"

She giggled. "And Brian…Matthew…I can't believe how long it's been…" Colleen's eyes clouded over. "The last time we saw each other was…"

"I know," Matthew said. "But now we're all here, and we're all together. That's all that matters," Brian nodded in agreement.

"We should all have lunch at Grace's!" Katie said.

"You all go," Colleen said. "I'll be right there, I have an appointment,"

Katie led them all over to Grace's. Seeing Katie so happy and bubbly was a great relief to both boys. The last they had heard from Colleen about Katie was that she had been hysterical and ran away from home, planning to kill herself. She had obviously made quite and improvement. She led them to the largest table they had and they all sat down. They waited for Colleen to come back, and then they ordered their food.

"I'm so glad they're all so close in age," Colleen said, referring to her and her brothers children. "My boys and Kirsten, and the twins and Joseph,"

Brian nodded. "But you live so far away," Katie said. "They won't be able to play with each other that much,"

Brian and Matthew exchanged strange glances. "What?" Katie asked.

"Nothin'," Brian said quickly.

Katie and Colleen looked at each other with confused glances.

"So, how are things back in Boston?" Colleen asked her brothers, breaking the awkward silence.

"Fine," Brian said.

"How was your reporter job?" Katie asked anxiously. "Tell me about it,"

"Well, the stuff they write about there ain't that intersesting, at least not as interesting as the things they write about here," Brian said.

"Oh," Katie said. "Matthew, how about your lawyer job?"

"Oh that's going great," Matthew said.

"Daddy gets paid lots of money," Kirsten said.

"Kirsten!" Emma scolded. "Do not boast about money,"

"It's alright," Colleen laughed.

"How's the new job at the clinic?" Brian asked.

"It's fine," Colleen said. "It's just…"

"What?" Brian urged.

"It's strange that's all,"

"What do ya mean?" Matthew asked.

"Don't get me wrong, I love working there, and I'm very happy about it, it's just that, I feel like an intruder…an imposter. I'll never be as good a doctor as she was. I remember working beside her in the very same clinic, but now it's mine, and it just don't feel right without her there," Colleen explained.

"You're a great doctor Colleen," Brian said.

"You ain't intrudin' anything. She would want ya to have it," Matthew said.

"I know…" Colleen sighed.

"How do you like it Katie?" Matthew turned to Katie, who had fallen silent.

"It's…nice," she said. "I remember wanting to go to that clinic to help for the longest time, since I was real little. But like Colleen said, it's a little strange. But I like it," she said honestly. "I really do,"

"That's good," Brian said.

Then Grace appeared with some of their food. "There ya go," she set down food in front of the young children. "I'll be right back with the rest," When she came back she put food in front of Katie, Colleen, Matthew, Emma, Brian, and Diana "It's good to have ya back Brian, and Matthew,"

"It's good to be back, Grace," Matthew said. Brian nodded in agreement.

They ate their food and had an enjoyable meal. It was filled with laughter and joy, things that were strange to Katie's new way of life. Her whole family was back together again, all except them. They would be really happy to have the family together again.

After lunch, the two brothers and their wives got rooms at the Gold Nugget, despite Colleen's insisting that they stay at the clinic. Brian went over to the store, followed by Diana carrying Joseph. When he entered he scanned the room.

"Mister Brey!" Brian called.

Loren's head snapped up from what he was doing. Although it had changed so very much, he knew that voice anywhere. "Brian?"

"Yeah," he smiled.

Loren rushed over to him and embraced him. "What are ya doin' here?"

"Colleen wired me and Matthew," Brian said. "We figured it was time for a visit. Besides, I missed this place," He looked around, and memories came rushing back. "Oh, there's someone I want ya to meet," Brian took Joseph in his arms. "This is Joseph, my son," Brian said, as Joseph grabbed hold of his finger with his little hand.

Loren smiled. "What a handsome lad," he said. "He looks just like his pa," he looked back and forth from Brian to Joseph. Then he looked over at Diana. "But, he's got your eyes. It's good to see ya again, Diana,"

"It's good to see you too, Mister Brey," Diana said.

* * *

Brian walked over to the cemetery and placed flowers on their graves. "Hey, Ma, Sully. It's real good to be back here again. It makes me feel happier than I was in Boston. Katie seems a lot better, you don't have to worry. I'm sure Colleen is watching her real close, and now I'm here too. You would have loved Joey. He's a real sweet boy. I named him Joseph 'cause that was your Pa's name Ma, and Diana always liked the name. Hope everything's alright where you guys are," he then moved over to Charlotte's grave. "Hi Ma. It's been a while since I've been here. I'm real sorry 'bout that. I can't believe I was only six the last time I saw ya. I hope this don't hurt your feelings, but I almost forgot what ya looked like. But then when Joey was born, your grandson, I looked at him, and I remembered just what ya looked like. You would love Joey, and all of Colleen's kids, and Kirsten. I wish you coulda met Diana too. She's a great woman. Well, I'll see ya later,"

* * *

"Hey Doctor Mike," Matthew said. "Hey Sully. I didn't realize how much I missed this place until I got back. Kirsten's growin' up real fast. She says she wants to be a doctor, like you and Colleen, and Katie. I tell her loads of stories 'bout you guys, and I only hope my stories do justice to ya," he moved over to Charlotte's grave. "Hi Ma. It's been a long time…and I don't want ya to think that I forgot ya, 'cause I didn't. Kirsten has your eyes. I tell her stories 'bout you too. Sorry, I ain't too good with words,"

* * *

"Hi Ma, hi Sully," Colleen knelt down. "Brian and Matthew came to visit, for a long time I hope. Kirsten says she wants to be a doctor, just like you, Ma. And Tommy says he wants to help the Cheyenne, just like you did Sully. He wants to know everything you did, but the truth is, he's too young to know everything. Katie is doing better; you don't have to worry about her anymore. Moving back here has done wonders for her. And I hope you don't mid we're living in your homestead, and I hope you don't mind I'm working in your clinic. I hope someday I can be as good a doctor as you were," She then moved to Charlotte's grave. "Hi, Ma. Brian and Matthew came back into town. It's so strange to see them all grown up. It seems like only yesterday we were all little kids, livin' with you. Well I should go, the little ones are probably wondering where I am. Sorry my visit was so short. I'll be back,"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Katie couldn't sleep. She turned over again. Giving up, she got out of bed and roamed around the house, finding Colleen and Andrew sound asleep in Colleen's room with the twins nestled comfortably in the trundle at the foot of the bed. She also found the boys sleeping in Brian and Matthew's old room. She then found herself in her parents' room. She lay on their bed, suddenly feeling more comfortable. She forced herself up and opened the drawers and looked at her mother's dresses, admiring how beautiful they were, especially when she wore them. She went to the closet and looked at the wedding dress. She hadn't been alive to see her mother where it and she could hardly remember Colleen's wedding, but she knew how gorgeous they must have looked in it. Maybe one day she would wear it too. But then she reminded herself that she would never find a man as wonderful as her father. Anything less than him wouldn't be good enough for her.

She moved on to his buckskin coat, which hung their untouched for years. She gently pulled it off the hanger and slipped her hands through the sleeves. It was warm and comfortable, and it still smelled of him after all these years. She felt a strange bulge in the inside pocket. She reached her hand and retrieved a small wooden box. She tried to open it, but then realized there was a lock on it. She shook it gently, in case the contents were breakable. It sounded like paper, something clunky, and something that rattled, like a necklace. Very curious to read what was on that paper, to see what the necklace looked like, and what was making that clunky noise, she tried to force it open again, but decided she would need the key. But where would the key be? She though for a while. If this strange box was inside her father's coat, maybe the key was in something of her mother's. She first checked the wedding dress, but found nothing. She then checked in the pocket of her mother's coat. Then Katie realized if this box was such a secret, they'd have a better hiding place for the key then in a pocket. She began to dig through the drawers in the bureau. She found nothing. Where could it be? Was it maybe buried with them, so no one could ever open it? She shivered at the thought. What secret would her parents have that needed to be kept such a secret?

She checked in a drawer that she had never looked in, the place where her pantaloons were. She thoroughly searched through it, and then she suddenly felt a strange bulk on the bottom. She wrapped her hand around it and pulled it out. Hanging from her hand was a pair of pantaloons. It felt strange to be looking through her mother's underwear. She looked inside, and sure enough, sewn to the inside was a key. Katie pulled it free and folded the strange article of clothing and replaced it in the drawer. Excited that she had finally found it, she sat down on the bed and shoved the key in the keyhole. Then she paused. Did she really want to know what was in it? Did she really want to be burdened with a secret that her parents had kept from her? Did she really want to remember them by the secrets they kept? It would haunt her for the rest of her life. But she did really want to know. They were most likely just love letters…but then why had it been such a secret? Her curiosity taking over her already illogical head, she turned the key and opened the lid. Her breath was cut short. What had she gotten herself into? She wanted to close the lid, and replace the box and the key where they were and just crawl back into bed. But now the box was already opened and she had already seen half of the contents. How could she stop now?

_The End…For now…_

* * *

_Sequel coming soon! Find out what's in that box, what secrets Michaela and Sully kept, and what Katie must do to protect her family from knowing these secrets._

* * *

_Knowing certain things can only make things worse…but how much worse? _


End file.
